Fighting Fair with Words

That all couples argue is no secret. How will they do it determines whether it will prove fatal to their relationship. Here are some tips from experts:

DON'T - TUNE OUT OR GO OFF TRACK

INSTEAD - Listen & Respond

You may think that you are listening, but are you really? Couples who argue think that they've heard what the other person has to say many times before, so they tune out or start thinking of what to say next to win the     argument. Try to understand the emotion involved in what is being said.It's not about winning the verbal duel but solving the problem & try rephrasing the key points of the argument and conveying them to him. Not only will he know that you were listening to him, but it'll help you remember too.

DON'T - BEAT AROUND THE BUSH

INSTEAD - Identify the problem & address it
If you're arguing about something your man did, stick to the issue. Don't drag your neighbor's dog into it or dredge up what happened last week, the week before that & so on. If you are upset about something, identify what it is  & convey your feelings directly always keeping to the point.

DON'T - ATTACK HIS PERSONALITY

INSTEAD - Adress the problem/situation

>If something about your man irritates you, don't say 'you are irritating' say 'What you are doing is irritating me'. Use 'I' & 'WE' rather than 'you' & 'your' which sounds accusatory.

DON'T - ABUSE OR GET PHYSICAL

INSTEAD - Be civilised

DONO't - LEAVE THE ARGUMENT HANGING
INSTEAD - Resolve it and always apologize at the end.

Never go to bed angry. It'll not only disrupt your sleep, but you'll probably wake up more irritable and have even worse time. Always make sure to apologize after wards, whether through actions or words. It doesn't mean you were wrong; it just means you are sorry you hurt him.

DON'T - HIT BELOW THE BELT

INSTEAD - Know your limitations

Marital fights are mostly about hitting where it hurts the most, it is very difficult to fight fair, especially when you're trying to prove a point. Instead of focusing on how you can get back on him for something he said, focus on keeping yourself within bounds.

DON'T - DRAG OTHER PEOPLE INTO THE ARGUMENT

INSTEAD - Keep it between two of you

DON'T - EVER ARGUE IN FRONT OF YOUR KIDS

INSTEAD - Excuse yourself or ask your kids to leave the room

Fighting infront of the kids is your marriage and life from all disturbances.

-Mrudula

Cherish Yourself

I wrote about a hurried day in my life sometime back. Life has become one long rush hour….it remains. But there is one thing that I figured. I thought about a typical day in my life. I asked myself, have I forgotten a very important person in the process: ME? I have always been a kind of person who has enjoyed the small moments of life and believed that they are the best ones. Today, I make a conscious effort to give myself at least half an hour in a day, to do…nothing at all.

Here’s what you should do, if you feel you’ve lost yourself in treadmill existence!

Recognize your values: Ask yourself these questions more often: ‘What do I value?’, ‘What is most important to me?’, ‘What do I really want?’. Answers to these questions will help you understand yourself at a deeper level and refocus your life around what is really meaningful.

Grab life’s little pleasures: While you look at the big picture in life, don’t forget to see the tiny brushstrokes that create the effects; be it the clear blue sky above you, fuchsia sunset, rustling leaves or the shimmering stars above. Once in a while, forget about your errands and tasks for half a day. Use this time to think of all the wonderful things you experience in a day.

Schedule ‘Me Time’ with yourself: One of life’s greatest challenges is to balance the expectations and wishes of other people [especially family] and your own needs. Invest your time and energy for what you value, once in a while at least. Refill your mental space by prioritizing. Take ‘Me Time’ out of the house by visiting a spa, walk in the park or even a trip to the local cinema.

If you make the time and effort to reward and nurture yourself, you will be filled with a sense of well-being and it wont be long before your positive vibes spread out to reach your near and dear ones.

Surviving Teenage

Being a teenager is anything but easy. Most of the times, things happening to you or thoughts make no sense at all. Moving from childhood to adulthood involves a lot of change and most of the time, we are not ready for the change yet. However, much you want to stretch your boundaries and jump ahead….you still long for some TLC. I remember being a scrawny teenager, always hanging out with my brother who would go to great lengths to explain the ‘why’ and ‘how’ of so many things I could not even understand. As time passed and I stepped out of my teenage, I had a good deal of memories which I hold close to my heart, even today.

If you are in your teenage and wondering when you will be out of it and win yourself an ‘adult’ status, relax…you will never get back these golden years, make sure you spend them well!

Accept Yourself: Most of us go through problems of low self esteem, peer pressure. As a girl, you even got pimples and PMS to deal with! Remember, what you perceive as problems are not serious issues at all. They are just manifestations of your concerns to fit in, look good and make it to the top.

So if you think you have a huge problem, ask yourself, ‘Will this matter to me in a year?’ If you have important decisions to take, think long term. Let’s say you want to get a tattoo. Will that tattoo look good on your 50 year old behind?? Are cigarettes worth the cancer and the trauma?

Choose who you want to be: Don’t change yourself to fit into a certain group. Find friends who like you for who you are and don’t question your personality. Remember that you are responsible for your life. What you do today, will affect your tomorrow. That does not mean that you don’t have fun at all. Hang out with your friends but make sure that you are close to people whom you trust, always.

Step out of the shadows: When you choose to make your teenage fruitful, you are helping yourself secure a bright future. Don’t waste your teenage. Join hobby classes, stay fit and learn basic skincare and hair care to bring out your best features. Yoga is another great way to get in touch with yourself. When you find something you love, follow that idea and don’t stop until you’ve reached your goal.
Stay connected to your parents: Your parents are a great source of support and knowledge. But they would not know what’s going on in your life until you tell them. Try to identify what support you need from them and tell them. In return, don’t forget to hug them [at least!]

Teenage Must-Reads

1. Chocolate for a Teen’s Soul: Life changing Stories for Young Women About Growing Wise and Growing Strong by Kay Allenbaugh
2. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey
3. Girls’ Guide to Life by Catherine Dee
4. Guys and a Whole Lot More: Advice for Teen Girls on Almost Everything by Susie Shellenberger
5. Feeling Great, Looking Hot and Loving Yourself by Jennifer Leigh Youngs

Calvin & Hobbes

Office Romance? - Here are few steps to take care.

These days, it seems happy hour takes place between 9 and 5. Many singles spend more waking time at work than at home, so the likelihood of office attraction is high. You know what I'm talking about conveniently making copies at the same time, emailing back and forth, and playing eye-tag all day long. 

Welcome to the sometimes wonderful, often awful, world of dating in the workplace. Whether you have a crush on a higher-up or an inkling for a intern, mixing business and pleasure is almost never a good idea. But, let's face it, sometimes inner office hi jinks can be irresistible so here's how to make sure you make it through a workplace rendezvous unscathed.

If you're imagining the boardroom as a bedroom, take a second to notice the red flags and I don't mean on your minesweeper game. While pining away at your desk, I have some helpful ways to crush with caution on the clock!


    * Hold your horses! Before scooping up your co-worker and riding into the sunset, you'd better make sure the coast is clear. Familiarize yourself with the HR policy.ot all companies have the same stance on inner-office romance. Some companies allow it, others discourage it, and a few even have written policies that ban it. This way, you can preview the consequences if any and avoid that little pink slip.

    * If romance is in the air, someone is bound to smell it...  Hiding your relationship at work might be kind of fun  -- even playfully scandalous! but take a moment to question the real reason behind the secrecy. Inform human resources and your employer, and casually let your coworkers know the scoop. Of course, torrid details are not necessary, but make sure that you aren't letting deception ruin your otherwise impeccable reputation. If you're not comfortable going public, consider whether or not you should be involved in the first place.

    * Between a desk and a hard place... Sneaking kisses by the snack machine seems harmless enough, but I doubt people will have much of an appetite when they catch you there. Be considerate of your co-workers by saving affection for the sidewalk. A personal attraction can dent your professionalism, and also pose a distraction for those around you. Keep interactions clean until the suit comes off and I mean that literally.Avoid naughty email exchanges. Save the romantic words for your sweetie until the bell has rung. Emailing via the company computer is a recipe for disaster, especially if that email recounts personal exchanges that would be humiliating if made public.

    * You can't always be a "yes" man... Be especially careful if you are a superior crushing on a subordinate. Things can get tricky, because your employee may feel too pressured not to say "no" and then a "yes" just doesn't seem genuine! Plus, both your reputations are suddenly at stake. Before taking the risk, you'd better have another job interview lined up just in case things work out well!

If dating doesn't work, coming into work will definitely be stressful and emotionally trying for some time. However, you can keep the office as tension-free as possible if you both agree not to gossip about the relationship with other coworkers. Take the high road and try to maintain a respectful and professional demeanor, especially in front of others.keep in mind that you're still in a professional relationship.

-Munnu

Clues to find that he/she is seeing someone

Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife

* Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what

a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)

* Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.

* Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.

* He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.

* She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

* She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.

* He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

* Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.

* Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

* He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

* Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"

* He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.

* The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.

* Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

* Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

* Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.

* He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.

* He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

* Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

* Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.

* You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.

* Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

* Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

* Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

* Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.

* He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner you prepared when he got home.

* Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

* His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.

* The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

* You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

* Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.

* You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.

* He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.

* Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

* He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.

* She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.

* She has a "glow" about her.

* Atypical erratic behavior.

* He sneaks out of the house.

* She sleeps with her purse by the bed.

* She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

* He tells you that you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

* The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.

-Munnu

Calvin and Hobbes

Written and illustrated by Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes follows the humorous antics of Calvin, an imaginative six-year old boy, and Hobbes, his tiger. Set in the contemporary Midwestern United States, the two principal characters appear in most of the strips, while a small number focus on other supporting characters. Calvin's flights of fantasy, his friendship with Hobbes, his misadventures, and his interactions with everyone around him form the theme of most of these comic strips. Have a good time! And don't forget share your favorite C&H strips!

Cartoons of the week

Source: Time

Cartoons

The word cartoon has evolved over time to denote a form of visual art and illustration. Originally, it was coined to mean fine art. Today, humorous illustrations in magazines and newspapers comes to our mind as we think of cartoons. To a younger audience it would mean a host of television channels which telecast a number of cartoon series. The artists who draw cartoons are known as cartoonists. Check out some all time favorite cartoons on this blog....Feel free to tell us about your favorite cartoons...