Oct 27, 2008

Fighting Fair with Words

That all couples argue is no secret. How will they do it determines whether it will prove fatal to their relationship. Here are some tips from experts:

INSTEAD - Listen & Respond
You may think that you are listening, but are you really? Couples who argue think that they've heard what the other person has to say many times before, so they tune out or start thinking of what to say next to win the     argument. Try to understand the emotion involved in what is being said.It's not about winning the verbal duel but solving the problem & try rephrasing the key points of the argument and conveying them to him. Not only will he know that you were listening to him, but it'll help you remember too.

INSTEAD - Identify the problem & address it
If you're arguing about something your man did, stick to the issue. Don't drag your neighbor's dog into it or dredge up what happened last week, the week before that & so on. If you are upset about something, identify what it is  & convey your feelings directly always keeping to the point.

INSTEAD - Adress the problem/situation
>If something about your man irritates you, don't say 'you are irritating' say 'What you are doing is irritating me'. Use 'I' & 'WE' rather than 'you' & 'your' which sounds accusatory.

INSTEAD - Be civilised
INSTEAD - Resolve it and always apologize at the end.

Never go to bed angry. It'll not only disrupt your sleep, but you'll probably wake up more irritable and have even worse time. Always make sure to apologize after wards, whether through actions or words. It doesn't mean you were wrong; it just means you are sorry you hurt him.

INSTEAD - Know your limitations
Marital fights are mostly about hitting where it hurts the most, it is very difficult to fight fair, especially when you're trying to prove a point. Instead of focusing on how you can get back on him for something he said, focus on keeping yourself within bounds.

INSTEAD - Keep it between two of you
INSTEAD - Excuse yourself or ask your kids to leave the room
Fighting infront of the kids is your marriage and life from all disturbances.


Oct 18, 2008

Cherish Yourself

I wrote about a hurried day in my life sometime back. Life has become one long rush hour….it remains. But there is one thing that I figured. I thought about a typical day in my life. I asked myself, have I forgotten a very important person in the process: ME? I have always been a kind of person who has enjoyed the small moments of life and believed that they are the best ones. Today, I make a conscious effort to give myself at least half an hour in a day, to do…nothing at all.

Here’s what you should do, if you feel you’ve lost yourself in treadmill existence!

Recognize your values:
Ask yourself these questions more often: ‘What do I value?’, ‘What is most important to me?’, ‘What do I really want?’. Answers to these questions will help you understand yourself at a deeper level and refocus your life around what is really meaningful.

Grab life’s little pleasures: While you look at the big picture in life, don’t forget to see the tiny brushstrokes that create the effects; be it the clear blue sky above you, fuchsia sunset, rustling leaves or the shimmering stars above. Once in a while, forget about your errands and tasks for half a day. Use this time to think of all the wonderful things you experience in a day.

Schedule ‘Me Time’ with yourself: One of life’s greatest challenges is to balance the expectations and wishes of other people [especially family] and your own needs. Invest your time and energy for what you value, once in a while at least. Refill your mental space by prioritizing. Take ‘Me Time’ out of the house by visiting a spa, walk in the park or even a trip to the local cinema.

If you make the time and effort to reward and nurture yourself, you will be filled with a sense of well-being and it wont be long before your positive vibes spread out to reach your near and dear ones.

Surviving Teenage

Being a teenager is anything but easy. Most of the times, things happening to you or thoughts make no sense at all. Moving from childhood to adulthood involves a lot of change and most of the time, we are not ready for the change yet. However, much you want to stretch your boundaries and jump ahead….you still long for some TLC. I remember being a scrawny teenager, always hanging out with my brother who would go to great lengths to explain the ‘why’ and ‘how’ of so many things I could not even understand. As time passed and I stepped out of my teenage, I had a good deal of memories which I hold close to my heart, even today.

If you are in your teenage and wondering when you will be out of it and win yourself an ‘adult’ status, relax…you will never get back these golden years, make sure you spend them well!

Accept Yourself: Most of us go through problems of low self esteem, peer pressure. As a girl, you even got pimples and PMS to deal with! Remember, what you perceive as problems are not serious issues at all. They are just manifestations of your concerns to fit in, look good and make it to the top.

So if you think you have a huge problem, ask yourself, ‘Will this matter to me in a year?’ If you have important decisions to take, think long term. Let’s say you want to get a tattoo. Will that tattoo look good on your 50 year old behind?? Are cigarettes worth the cancer and the trauma?

Choose who you want to be: Don’t change yourself to fit into a certain group. Find friends who like you for who you are and don’t question your personality. Remember that you are responsible for your life. What you do today, will affect your tomorrow. That does not mean that you don’t have fun at all. Hang out with your friends but make sure that you are close to people whom you trust, always.

Step out of the shadows: When you choose to make your teenage fruitful, you are helping yourself secure a bright future. Don’t waste your teenage. Join hobby classes, stay fit and learn basic skincare and hair care to bring out your best features. Yoga is another great way to get in touch with yourself. When you find something you love, follow that idea and don’t stop until you’ve reached your goal.
Stay connected to your parents: Your parents are a great source of support and knowledge. But they would not know what’s going on in your life until you tell them. Try to identify what support you need from them and tell them. In return, don’t forget to hug them [at least!]

Teenage Must-Reads

1. Chocolate for a Teen’s Soul: Life changing Stories for Young Women About Growing Wise and Growing Strong by Kay Allenbaugh
2. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens by Sean Covey
3. Girls’ Guide to Life by Catherine Dee
4. Guys and a Whole Lot More: Advice for Teen Girls on Almost Everything by Susie Shellenberger
5. Feeling Great, Looking Hot and Loving Yourself by Jennifer Leigh Youngs

Oct 16, 2008

Office Romance? - Here are few steps to take care.

These days, it seems happy hour takes place between 9 and 5. Many singles spend more waking time at work than at home, so the likelihood of office attraction is high. You know what I'm talking about conveniently making copies at the same time, emailing back and forth, and playing eye-tag all day long. 

Welcome to the sometimes wonderful, often awful, world of dating in the workplace. Whether you have a crush on a higher-up or an inkling for a intern, mixing business and pleasure is almost never a good idea. But, let's face it, sometimes inner office hi jinks can be irresistible so here's how to make sure you make it through a workplace rendezvous unscathed.

If you're imagining the boardroom as a bedroom, take a second to notice the red flags and I don't mean on your minesweeper game. While pining away at your desk, I have some helpful ways to crush with caution on the clock!

    * Hold your horses! Before scooping up your co-worker and riding into the sunset, you'd better make sure the coast is clear. Familiarize yourself with the HR policy.ot all companies have the same stance on inner-office romance. Some companies allow it, others discourage it, and a few even have written policies that ban it. This way, you can preview the consequences if any and avoid that little pink slip.

    * If romance is in the air, someone is bound to smell it...  Hiding your relationship at work might be kind of fun  -- even playfully scandalous! but take a moment to question the real reason behind the secrecy. Inform human resources and your employer, and casually let your coworkers know the scoop. Of course, torrid details are not necessary, but make sure that you aren't letting deception ruin your otherwise impeccable reputation. If you're not comfortable going public, consider whether or not you should be involved in the first place.

    * Between a desk and a hard place... Sneaking kisses by the snack machine seems harmless enough, but I doubt people will have much of an appetite when they catch you there. Be considerate of your co-workers by saving affection for the sidewalk. A personal attraction can dent your professionalism, and also pose a distraction for those around you. Keep interactions clean until the suit comes off and I mean that literally.Avoid naughty email exchanges. Save the romantic words for your sweetie until the bell has rung. Emailing via the company computer is a recipe for disaster, especially if that email recounts personal exchanges that would be humiliating if made public.

    * You can't always be a "yes" man... Be especially careful if you are a superior crushing on a subordinate. Things can get tricky, because your employee may feel too pressured not to say "no" and then a "yes" just doesn't seem genuine! Plus, both your reputations are suddenly at stake. Before taking the risk, you'd better have another job interview lined up just in case things work out well!

If dating doesn't work, coming into work will definitely be stressful and emotionally trying for some time. However, you can keep the office as tension-free as possible if you both agree not to gossip about the relationship with other coworkers. Take the high road and try to maintain a respectful and professional demeanor, especially in front of others.keep in mind that you're still in a professional relationship.


Clues to find that he/she is seeing someone

Some of these signs of a cheating spouse are "tongue in cheek" while others are tell tale signs that commonly appear with a cheating husband or cheating wife

* Mutual friends start acting strangely toward you. (They either know about the cheating or have been told stories about what

a horrible wife or girlfriend you are.)

* Your cheating husband or wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you.

* Sets up a new e-mail account and doesn't tell you about it.

* He leaves the house in the morning smelling like Irish Spring and returns in the evening smelling like Safeguard.

* She joins the gym and begins a rigorous workout program.

* She buys a cell phone and doesn't let you know.

* He sets up a separate cell phone account that is billed to his office.

* Begins to delete all incoming phone calls from the caller ID.

* Deletes all incoming e-mails when they used to accumulate.

* He becomes "accusatory," asking if you are being true to him, usually out of guilt.

* Raises hypothetical questions such as, "Do you think it's possible to love more than one person at a time?"

* He insists the child seat, toys, etc., are kept out of his car.

* The cheating wife stops wearing her wedding ring.

* Has a sudden desire to be helpful with the laundry.

* Has unexplained scratches or bruises on his or her neck or back.

* Suddenly wants to try new love techniques.

* He/she fairly suddenly stops having sex with you.

* He/she suddenly wants more sex, more often.

* Supposedly works a lot of overtime, but it never shows up on the pay stub.

* Picks fights in order to stomp out of the house.

* You find out by accident he or she took vacation day or personal time off from work - but supposedly worked on those days.

* Shows a sudden interest in a different type of music.

* Spouse's co-workers are uncomfortable in your presence.

* Has a sudden preoccupation with his or her appearance.

* Spends an excessive amount of time on the computer, especially after you have gone to bed.

* He throws up a lot because he just ate at his mistress's house and had to eat the dinner you prepared when he got home.

* Your spouse is away from home, either nights or on trips, more than previously.

* His/her clothes smell of an unfamiliar perfume or after-shave. You see lipstick on your husband's shirt.

* The amount of money being deposited into your checking account drops off.

* You find items of intimate apparel or other small gift-type items that you did not give your spouse.

* Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is "touchy" and easily moved to anger.

* You get calls where the caller hangs up when he or she hears your voice.

* He/she loses attention in the activities in the home.

* Your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right.

* He/she has a definite change in attitude towards everyone in the home.

* She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly.

* She has a "glow" about her.

* Atypical erratic behavior.

* He sneaks out of the house.

* She sleeps with her purse by the bed.

* She goes to the store for groceries and comes home 5 hours later.

* He tells you that you can get hold of him at a different telephone number.

* The telltale sign of a cheating spouse? Having to ask that question in the first place.


Oct 15, 2008

Calvin and Hobbes

Written and illustrated by Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes follows the humorous antics of Calvin, an imaginative six-year old boy, and Hobbes, his tiger. Set in the contemporary Midwestern United States, the two principal characters appear in most of the strips, while a small number focus on other supporting characters. Calvin's flights of fantasy, his friendship with Hobbes, his misadventures, and his interactions with everyone around him form the theme of most of these comic strips. Have a good time! And don't forget share your favorite C&H strips!

Oct 14, 2008

Cartoons of the week

Source: Time


The word cartoon has evolved over time to denote a form of visual art and illustration. Originally, it was coined to mean fine art. Today, humorous illustrations in magazines and newspapers comes to our mind as we think of cartoons. To a younger audience it would mean a host of television channels which telecast a number of cartoon series. The artists who draw cartoons are known as cartoonists. Check out some all time favorite cartoons on this blog....Feel free to tell us about your favorite cartoons...

Sep 15, 2008

Friendship Saviour

The first step in to do list to say hi to an old friend or to keep in touch with current friends, is to commit to keeping the friendship alive, forever! Few ideas to help you show your love and effection for your friends. Just remember, friendships are not a chore, they are gifts to be cherished, so have fun with it!

An old cliché, just a phone call away - Try to make a commitment to call each of your friends at least one time a month. Keep a ‘Calendar of Friendship’ and mark which friend you last spoke to and on what day of the month. Note each call on your calendar, and commit to calling each friend at least once monthly. Be sure to keep your address book updated with current phone numbers and addresses. You’ll soon find that a ten to fifteen minute phone call will mean the world to them and it will show your friend that, you are thinking of them and care about what is happening in their lives, even you can’t be there in person.

Take Advantage of Email - With the ever growing world of the internet, there is a great way to keep in touch with friends, right at your fingertips! If you have access to a computer with an internet connection (your local library is sure to have free access), e-mail is a great way to send a spontaneous note. People love to receive new mail, and you’ll find that they will reply to your message more often times than not! Keep an ‘online’ e-mail address book of your closest friends, and grab e-mail addresses of other friends that you have lost touch with from forwarded messages from other friends. Soon you’ll see your list grow, and your inbox will soon be full as well!

Cards and Notes - Handwritten word is still the best, and most personable way to show that you care. Buy a box of stationary and keep it in a place that you will see it on a daily basis. It only takes a few minutes and a stamp to send love to a friend, and they will appreciate the gesture and more than likely you’ll see your mail box full of notes in the coming months! Weekend mornings are a great time to write notes to your friends. Be sure to include photos of children, pets, husbands, etc. to keep them updated on your life. It’s also very important to remember Birthdays and important Holidays, so be sure to mark these dates on your ‘Calendar of Friendship,’ and send out notes and cards for those special days. Your friends will be touched that you remembered, especially knowing how busy you are!

Small Gifts - Often times special occasions arise for your friends and you just can’t be there in person to celebrate. For time like these, sending a small gift in the mail is a great way to show that you care and that you wish you could be there. For instance, if a friend has recently given birth, you can send a magazine subscription to a parents magazine. A year subscription is cheap, and lasts for a whole year. Your friend will be touched, and will think about you every month, when the mailman delivers that magazine! Not only will you be keeping in touch, but the new mother will have a great gift to share with her new arrival as well! This is a great idea for many occasions, for instance births, wedding planning, hobbies such as gardening or sports, or for sheer entertainment value! Other great gifts include small books on friendship, newspaper or magazine clippings on an area that interests your friend, small candles, lotions and oils, scented soaps, anything luxurious that shows that you care for her and want her to pamper herself!

Annual Get Togethers - Another great way to keep in touch with friends is planning an annual get together. Keep it at the same time of year so everyone becomes familiar with the trip. Usually there is a circle of friends that remain acquainted as years pass, so planning a trip allows everyone to spend time together. Camping is a great idea, as it is cheap and promotes group activities such as boating, swimming, campfires, bar-b-ques, spirits and fun, fun, fun! Adult slumber parties are fun as well, it’s a great way to reminisce about old times, share finger foods or pizza, and giggle about boys (or husbands). Just remember, this is still a girl’s only function!

So, as you see, keeping in touch with friends isn’t such a chore, if you commit a small portion of your life to it. Friendships are rewarding, and losing them is sad. As we go through life, wonderful blessings enter and exit our lives, but true friendships should last forever. It’s up to you to keep the flame burning, so be true to your friends and keep in touch!

Remember, every little hello, every little smile, every helping hand saves a hurting heart.

- Munnu

Sep 14, 2008

I'm in a hurry....

My day begins at 5-30 am almost everyday [except when i'm allowed to sleep, thanks to my maid who comes in late or a SUNDAY!!!]. The first face i encounter is mine and after the initial disgust at the sight of a pimple or my sleepy eyes i drag myself to the kitchen to begin my culinary experimentation. [You guessed it right, its not just hard, sometimes its a huge goof-up when i start so early]. Most days i manage to cook something edible. 6-45 am....i've barely finished in the kitchen when i have to begin pointing fingers at my maid for not doing her tasks right. After spurning some suggestions and pleading her to get it right next time [atleast] i have to get ready to get to work.

Around the same time, my cab driver takes on the task of hurrying me out of my home [he does this by calling me without a break, till i have called him and asked "WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME?!"] Rushing out my home, i realise that i have not worn the shoes i thought i would wear the day before, the top i had decided to wear....worse, i have not even combed my hair. Hell who cares?! I run furiously [most days my husband follows me and has an early jog, just to say 'bye and have a nice day' & that's probably the only time we get to spend together for the rest of the day....]

Inside my cab by 7-35 am, i'm in no mood to listen to remixed versions of regional songs [most of the times its hard to figure which language i'm listening to!]. I have no other go, for my enthusiastic cab driver seems to enjoy them immensely! Let him, i figure. I try to pray, in vail...i seem to be catching some of these songs myself!! Good lord....

I wonder if my husband has had his breakfast and has left to work. In a few minutes a couple of my friends hop on to the cab before we move towards office. In no time we are dropped at our colossal office building and we spend sometime ogling at all the latest brands that seem to be opening shop here. Louis Vuitton, Zegna, Moschino.....Makes me think: “Whoever said money can't buy happiness simply didn't know where to go shopping.”

Inside offices, the day drags on...from a mad Monday to an awaited Friday, time flies and there's some respite in the form of a weekend! Weekends fly by faster than the weekdays....sometimes there is no time to complain too. But.....it's not all that bad. Not always atleast. Coping with life's challenges becomes an inseperable part of our lives, complaining just makes it seem harder with each day.

End of each day i'm ever grateful that i'm blessed with a mother who loves me, a sister who understands me the best and a husband who is an answer to all my prayers.

In all pleasure hope is a considerable part.
- Samuel Johnson

I'm convinced.


Sep 10, 2008

If you hate your brothers' girlfriend!!

Looking across the dinner table at a girl who you know is running your dearest brothers life, makes you sick and you decide to excuse yourself a little early from the place.You know she is not "the one", something pokes you deep inside your heart...You want to voice your opinion and tell your brother that he is making a big mistake! That's what i did. I told him...

At best, he'd say: "Wow, you are right! I'll go break up with her right away!"

At worst, you have hurt the relationship you have with your brother and it will make matters worse....and you don't want that.

No one likes seeing their family members in pain - physical or emotional. But sadly, there is no way to intervene to protect the people you love from pain. They have to live and learn on their own.

Are you in one such dilemma? Just let your brother know that you will always be there for him no matter what. I'm sure he appreciates what a good sister you are. If you don't want to stand by your brother, that is also okay.

I have a brother I am very close to as well and I always want to protect him, but he's an adult and has to make his own decisions. If this isn't meant to be then they will probably break up sooner rather than later. I think the girl changed her mind....giving my brother a new lease of life.

If they decide to make some comprimises and work things out anytime in the future, i know i have to deal with this girl for a long time into the future and it would be best for my brother (and my sanity) if you try to accept the situation.....

- Munnu

Sep 9, 2008

Click, Click...Find Friends!

"A friend is a gift you give yourself."
- Robert Louis Stevenson

Indeed. Long into the autumn of life, thinking about your closest friends you've not been in touch with? Have you lost touch with your closest childhood friend? Wondering how you can reconnect with old friends? Everyday millions of people across the world take to the internet to find thier friends and high school classmates. classmates, orkut, facebook, refriendz, hi5....your options to find your friends and get back in touch are aplenty. All you have to do is sign up on these social networking sites and search for your friends by thier names or e-mail addresses.

We all love to reminisce the past, don't we? Sad as it may be, we lose touch even with our closest friends, some we had shared the most intimate details of our lives and dreams with! Sometimes I would wonder what happened to the people i used to hang out with...There are times when I wish I could go back in time and play those mindless games we enjoyed so much, talk for long hours without any worries, share and solve problems.....I would often wonder that they would have interesting stories to share if i get back in touch with them.

Fortunately for me, finding high school classmates online has been easy and i have been able to reconnect with all the people i thought i would never meet again.

- Reethi

Sep 5, 2008

A Reason For My Being...

Are there days when you wake up and wonder what it is specifically that you are doing here on earth? I mean, yes, we all do things we are expected to do. We study for degrees, do courses, marry, and bring up children….all with sincerity. But do you as I wonder where it all leads?

What at the end of a long life, when you have done all this and more will you look back on? What will you feel? Satisfaction? Joy? Or that there are things left undone, words left unsaid….Will you wonder why you had to live a life after all? It is true. It happens. Sometimes nothing seems to hold meaning. The happiness you seek-is it health, wealth, loved ones around you or lack of unhappiness?

Where does it all lead? If we die young, life is gone without our really having been able to sit back and enjoy it. If we live to a grand old age we regret moments that have passed us by.

A reason for my being. That’s all I wanted. And when I saw a bunch of flowers I think I got one! If flowers can smile as happily as they did on their stem, if stars can shine quietly without questioning what we wish under them-Why then is my insignificant self wondering about a reason for being? All I can do is hope somehow, somewhere if i live my life right….reason will find its fulfillment.


When and How Bobby Gets Insulted

Last month when i am in chennai for visa interview for 3 days... i met one of my uncle's friend's daughter

Lets go back to 2000 once:

I did my engineering in Chennai. In 2000 when I landed in Chennai for counseling, we stayed in uncles house which is in Anna Nagar

I got seat in Raja Lakshmi Engg college (In our words REC) and shifted to hostel but due to food problem uncle asked me to come back home as i lost almost 3 kgs in a weeks time. But i hesitated to go there so he promised me that he will search a new room for me to stay. I got a room in one of my Uncle's friend's Srinivasan's house.

Mr. Srinivasan is a very strict person and Rtd ICF employe. One day he introduced me to his relatives who stays near to that house. I met a girl who is studying 7th standard. That time she looks like kiddoo and i hardly spoke to her not more than 5 times in 2 years time and after that i shifted to some other room

Coming back to present 2008 Aug:

After I attended the Visa Interview, i dont have any work to do so i thought lets go and give a sudden surprise to them. They use to stay in inside Teynampet which is changed alot now. I found thier room finally after 30 min search. when i rang the bell aunty came & she recognised me finally after 5min...

As soon as I entered in to their home which is completely changed now. I am actually looking for that girl but she is not there. After 30min, she came to home from College (she is studying Eng 3rd year) as soon as i saw her i felt she looks so pretty & i can say LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT... she recognized me in 2 min and after that we had a chat for more than 2 hrs. I thought i fell in LOVE AGAIN. its almost 7.30 and I am getting late so i told them i am leaving now and will catch u tomorrow. After i entered into the car her brother came in to picture and said BAYYA BYE BYE & GET ME CHOCOLATES WHEN YOU ARE COMING TOMORROW which is completely shocked to me and her but what to do...if i got chance i will go and bang him like anything...

Brothers are Donkeys?


Yesterday my sweet sister and I decided to celebrate the Ganesh Chaturthi in a grand manner. Preparations began while we were returning home itself. It was around 10 PM when we started from work and we got busy discussing what special dishes we need to prepare like Pulihora, Paravannam among other delicacies. While discussing this in the cab, my phone started ringing [as always, it had to ring when i'm discussing something of my sister's interest!]. It was a work-related call and i was again not sure whether to attend the call or not as i promised my sister that i would not discuss about work when i step out of office...i attended the call and was done with it in 4 min [Surprisingly!]. I promised my sister that i will take her to movie next day, she was flashing her ever so sweet smile and we were not talking about the call i took anymore!

We reached home at 10.45 PM that night and started cooking dinner & our dearest friend RINI (pet dog) who was eagerly waiting for us began to shoo us away with her barking [which translates her furious anger as were late in getting back!]

Done with dinner, we decided to wake up at 6AM the next day so that we can get up early and go for temple. Tired & sleepy, I failed to realise that i had infact kept that alarm for 6pm and slowly slipped into blissful sleep...

Next day morning....

I got up to someone yelling and rini barking at me loudly...When i opened my eyes, i saw my sister was looking like an ANGRY YOUNG SISTER. I could sense that she had this urge to turn me into a ball so she could kick me but she is trying to control her self..I was not able to comprehend what was happening, till i checked my watch and realised that it was 11-30 AM!!!! Half-asleep i thought it was close to midnight but i heard our maid servant leaving homeand then realized that YET AGAIN...I WAS LATE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My sister was upset as i promised her to take Temple, celebrate the Pooja and a movie too. She scolded me for a while. But my punishment followed shortly...I had to do all the dishes!! [Do I have a choice??!]



Is it??!!

Marriage for Dummies

Java for dummies for the budding programmer, 3D MAX for dummies for a design aficionado, Blues Guitar for Dummies for the music minded. You've read one of these for sure.

Marriage for dummies is an effort to deflate common marriage myths and keep your marriage ALIVE. Small steps will assure you a lifetime of happiness, if a happy marriage is what you have in mind. You do know that you have the power to redefine any relationship, don't you? All you need to do is recognize that power and step up to figure what is and isn't acceptable in your marriage.

Rule number one: Your vows are about commitment, not a method of living together. If the methods you have been using for quite sometime now aren't working, don't wait till the warning bells have sounded. Change your methods now. And when you are doing so, commit to mending your mistakes.

Rule number two: Stop blaming yourself or your spouse. Does it really help? Not really. So next time that you're about to say, "but you did this" or "you never did/said that", stop yourself. Because its not leading you anywhere!

Rule number three: If you got till here, you won't be disappointed. This rule has never failed! Take off, on a no-baggage vacation. By no baggage i mean NO lingering thoughts of work, home, money...it's all going to be dealt with anyway. Its always easier to deal with your worries when you are pleasant towards each other. Watch the sunrise over the mountains, try mountain biking, walk across to a nearby town, drive to a place where you can soak in the last few rays of the sun....all in a day.


Love...Or Something Like It...

How do you know you're in love? - You feel sick, do you?

Ok well that's not all you feel but it's definitely a part of how you feel.

I think i fell in love properly for the first time when I was 13yrs old. I was taken aback by how utterly miserable it made me feel. This feeling didn't last, as being 'in' love was temporary state but it lasted long enough to leave a lasting impression which conjures up fond memories, even today. Every time I have been in love since it has been the same.

When you begin dating, feeling miserable comes from wondering if your girlfriend/boyfriend will call you, text you or go out with you. Once you begin spending time with them, focus shifts to the future of your relationship. You wonder how life would be, without your love. What if you are faced with a senario where you have to live without your love.

What we fail to realise is that all our feelings - love, hate are shaped by our survival needs. We try to run away from feelings of pain. But when you are truly in love, you will feel the pleasure in the pain you're dealing with. You will feel a warmth, second to none and all hurtful feelings are overshadowed by feelings of warmth and comfort, stemming from the support of your love. If you are someone who has given up on love in favour of freedom from pain, consider what else you have given up. Allow yourself to be happy, allow yourself to love freely and be loved as well. Love yourself, first. Go ahead and create a lifetime memory.

I'm sure all of you have wonderful love stories to share. Childhood memories of your first crush or romance which blossomed in your teenage....Share them here.